We should be called the Road Head Warriors
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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