i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
We left the knife in your bed.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
