is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
