He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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