I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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