just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
