Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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