is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Randomize
