i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
