when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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