Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
