maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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