If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
nutella sex= disaster
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Im part way to drunk.
Randomize
