Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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