I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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