i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
