google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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