You're so nebulous sometimes
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
