Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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