It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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