I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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