textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
