Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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