A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
