ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
