The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Those nachos came to me in a dream
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
