Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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