After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Randomize
