We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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