She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
