she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Can you bring me the toilet please
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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