STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
