I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
