yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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