the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Randomize
