Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
