I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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