He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Drake has all the answers
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
