its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
The power of my boobs compel you
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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