Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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