Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
