She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
