It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
