I would go down on you faster than GM stock
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
