More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
