theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
