The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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