she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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