Do you still have your period?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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