Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
