I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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