if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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