Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
