I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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