My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
