Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
