If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
