So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
