I look better un-naked...
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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