Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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