Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
