After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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