Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
